Unless You Bless Me

But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” Genesis 32:26b

I’ve heard a lot of things said about this passage, and certainly there’s something there. A wrestle with God. At night. A demand for a blessing. A name-change. A blessing granted.

It’s very strange. What would it look like for me to wrestle with God? My thoughts tumbling against words of Scripture. My personal prayers punching through the devout holiness of a church service. My depression spiraling holes through the hope and joy God has always provided.

Or is this wrestling with God only something that happens before the blessing of justification, the beginning of sanctification? Maybe fighting with God now is just rebellion. Or getting out of bounds.

I’m back to my post now after helping herd large calves back into their pen. Good thing there was a full moon. They were on the road and had strayed a long way. They had been eating grass for awhile and were not in the mood to move, which tried my husband’s patience to no end (that was a direct quote). So maybe God also likes it better when we’re feisty and willing to move. Maybe He’s more likely to bless us then, even if we’re not exactly where we belong, and we need a lot of herding. Moral of the story: don’t get fat on the neighbor’s forbidden grass when there’s a pile of nutritious corn silage dumped right into your pen. Another moral: if you do find yourself out of the pen, get up and cross a road a few times, moo really loud (i.e. let God know that you know where you are). God doesn’t want you out of the pen, and He won’t ignore you.

Counting Blessings

In an effort to combat a dark mood, here is a counting of my blessings, just today.

slow cookers keep a supper warm,
frozen chicken breasts can be cooked without first thawing,
the first snowman of the year had a big smile and a big carrot nose, and my kids all had big smiles, too,
we could watch the sermon on the internet so I didn’t feel guilty about not driving the slippery roads to church,
Christmas is only once a year,
I learned this morning that having friends isn’t really what counts in life (good to know; I’m bad at being a good friend),
[this isn’t really working]
I learned this afternoon that Jonathon and Sarah Edwards were very different types of people, and they had an “uncommon union” (which is a good thing),
I did my Bible study lesson on Jonah and realized again how much God is in control of EVERYTHING!
[that’s a big blessing. can’t top that one.]
my bed is warm,
I decided before that I’m not going to worry about sleeping too much,
so here I go to bed,
tomorrow is another day, and God is in control of it, too,
He won’t let me drift completely away from Him,
He’s hanging on even when I’m barely doing the doggy paddle.