I’m not much of a party person, but I went to a very nice casual party. I knew everyone there, and I liked everyone there. The entire time I felt like I was enjoying it. And then this is the secret of me, the thing that even I don’t really understand: I come home and think about it and everything is suddenly awful. I’m sure I was not dressed right. I’m sure my kids were acting impolite. I’m sure my own house is unfit to live in compared to the houses of other people. I’m sure I not only sounded foolish there but I’ve always sounded foolish and didn’t know it. I’m certain there is nothing about my life that can even stand up to the lives of my friends. I’ve done everything wrong, and moreover, I cannot fix it.
This is when I need my blog, folks. I need to see those old posts. I need to know that I have actually said some things that made sense. I need to see those pictures because those are beautiful. Nothing in my head can convince me otherwise. I need to know I have a niche in this world where I am at least a little bit unfoolish.
Even now, though, I think this through and know that I am supposed to be going to the Bible for my affirmation. Well, yes. So that’s a part of my blog, too. To think things through and get myself oriented. Sometimes I need that more than other times. It’s like a little pep talk from myself in the past.